It’s a sad, sad day here our house.
My last frozen bag of breastmilk is being defrosted…
worked pumped long and hard to keep a well stocked stash especially once Connor hit his nursing strike.
I knew the day would have come. I cut down to pumping 2-3 times a day with him still getting breastmilk in bottles that same amount because even though I tried and tried Connor never did nurse again and now my supply is dwindling. Only pumping about 2 ounces each time which is a drastic change from what I had been capable of. (Of course, I do know it’s because I stopped pumping as much.) So with the frozen stash gone and me producing hardly anything anymore; it seems the time has come…
It looks like Connor will be off breastmilk at 18 months.
Some mothers can’t wait to be done breastfeeding. For me, I feel sad to stop providing the best for my son but I just have to remind myself that I should be so proud to have kept it up for 18 months. Far beyond the norm.
I do wish it had happened differently. I wish he had kept nursing and I think that is what is causing me the most anguish. I try to put that behind me because there is nothing I can do about it now and I know I did everything I could. I suppose because I know this process would have been different if he had been nursing still. I would have let him wean on his own. Maybe that would have felt more natural? I would have been more at peace with the decision because I know it would be his? But in our current situation, he doesn’t care whether he’s drinking breastmilk, whole milk or almond milk in that bottle!
My other issue? I think about that fact that Connor has been sick once in his entire 18 months of life and now all I can envision is him being a snotty nosed toddler without my breastmilk to help fight all those bugs away.
But then I shake my head and tell myself to stop being silly. Stop thinking of the “what ifs” and just be present in what is going on now. He can’t have it forever and he will survive without it. The day is here and it’s time to say adios to that pump until the next kiddo!
Does anyone else out there struggle with this?